The 2009 Aardvark Anithesis Team Awards: The Winners!
Alright, the votes are in and we had a great turnout with four (with two out of those four being Vinnie) people voting. This is the moment you've been waiting for: here are your winners!
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We're going to do this in dramatic fashion, beginning with the non-user related awards:.
Most Memorable MomentWINNER:
Vinnie loses in the AAT FIGHT NIGHT LIVE to Nik Jam and has a mental breakdown (612 votes)
AAT FIGHT NIGHT LIVE 2009 was a great concept for AAT and will hopefully see its second inception sometime in 2010. However, the 2009 tournament was not without controversy. Ever the scrappy underdog, Nik Jam spent all night training for his fight listening to Depeche Mode. In one of the greatest moments in AAT history,
Nik Jam took down Vinnie in the first round by a judge's scorecard of 8-5.
But the story does not end there. Collusion was in the air. Despite being the clear loser, Vinnie and Joe joined forces to put on the greatest screwjob the boards have ever seen. In interviews, Vinnie was noticeably shaken, a defeated and angst-ridden man. While he claimed to veto the judge's decision, his protest fell upon deaf ears. All that was left to say was, Enjoy The Silence Vinnie.
2nd Place:
CK Posts Another Short Story (66 votes)
Determined, focused and filled with "inspiration," CK was not to be deterred by the poor reception of his first short story. He gathered another focus group and wrote another
short story.
Unfortunately for CK, the new focus group was not impressed.
reformat and maybe ill read it
Just copy and paste into Word and enter after every paragraph
what good author makes their readers do this
how about you just open shitstory2.txt and turn on word wrap
3rd Place:
Lstorm Saves AAT (121 votes)
That's right motherfuckers.
Best ForumWINNER:
(6 votes)
There were no questions as to which subforum would win this prestigious award. As the namesake of this subforum, I graciously accept this award for not on myself, but for each and every member who made YCS what it is today. Except for Redtail, who will take no part in the celebration until he embraces his Philadelphia roots.
2nd Place:
Cloudtown, USA (3 votes) - While the Film Forum is the more popular forum, Cloudtown, USA is freaking Cloudtown.
3rd Place:
Parallax is my parachute (2 votes)
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Next up come our more specialized, fun member awards because certain traits deserve recognition... as dictated by Award tradition.
Best GimmickWINNER:
Morrissey - Nik Jam (92 votes)
Nik Jam did not post much in 2009, but that deceptive seclusion just further established his Morrissey gimmick. It is true that he only made two posts through the 2009 calendar year, but who else lived their gimmick as well as Nik Jam. Even in the brief posting of Nik, we can see the image and politics of Morrissey shine through, as evidence by the following quote from
The Hazards of Love:
I thought it was great, and I wasn't expecting much because of bad reviews...
2nd Place:
Girl pretending to be Fake Girl - Deputy Mayonnaise / Cute Girl (59 votes)
Deputy Mayonnaise / Cute Girl burst onto the AAT scene over the last few years and has been quite the sensation. However, it seems as if the Fake Fake Girl gimmick is losing stream. Yes, there have gems, such as the
Actual things dudes have said to me! thread. Maybe in 2010, we will see a babyface turn, with Cute Girl faking to a male persona and seducing Albright.
3rd Place:
Straight Edge Poster - The ONLY three-time Straight Edge AAT Poster of the Year / CondimentKing (6 votes)
Sexiest MemberWINNER:
A Sweet Dream / Vinnie (25 Votes)
This award has seen some of the fiercest competitions in past AAT Awards. However, God and genetics have not been kind to many members here. There is one member that has presented himself with a degree of rugged manliness that makes even fake girls like Cute Girl swoon. As evidenced in the
Beard thread if you have a beard post your beard, thanks thread, A Sweet Dream / Vinnie displayed just why he is the Sexiest Member, as well as a number of unique and revolutionary camera angles that will surely change the self-portrait as we know it.
2nd Place:
Goldenboy (2 votes)
3rd Place:
The ONLY three-time Straight Edge AAT Poster of the Year / CondimentKing ( -7 votes)
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And now come our staff and member awards.
Best New MemberWINNER:
The Fake CK / Executive Bowlcut (142 votes)
Was there another post that caused more fury and confusion on AAT in the year 2009? The Fake CK lasted only a few months during the April to June period, but what an impact he made. The Fake CK caused The Real CK to question all that he knew in life. It was even rumored that the Real CK was considering AAT retirement, as he just didn't know himself anymore. Only a pep talk from Psychic Gary Spivey saved the Real CK from leaving.
2nd Place:
Dogtor Cox (2 votes)
3rd Place:
A Million Dicks (0 votes) - 0 posts, but a username to remember for certain
Best ModeratorWINNER:
Baby Burgers Jr. / Strawberry Jam (127 votes)
The man that started it all. Perhaps this award should be renamed the RD Reynolds Memorial Award. Undeniably a fan favorite, Baby Burgers Jr. embodies all that is good and righteous within AAT. While he has been known to get into scuffles, most of them are with the likes of the hated bassist. And rest assured, whenever bassist is shitting up a thread, there is Steve to right the ship.
2nd Place:
THAT YOUNG KNOCKOUT KID / Lstorm (78 votes) - Arguably the man that should have won this award, as he saved AAT from the brink of extinction. A questionable ballot procedure indeed.
3rd Place:
So Far Gone like Drake / Parallax (5 votes)
Most Despised MemberWINNER:
/ bassist (4,873 smites)
this is why you can be so very annoying bassist, whenever anyone disagrees with you, you automatically attack their character. The reasons why I dislike Nick and Norah are because I am Michael Cera and he makes me look bad, and I also have no experience with love and therefore cannot appreciate the AWE-INSPIRING TRUTH~! to the film
conversely you make yourself out to be a regular love guru who is so much more cooler than the michael cera archetype
And bassist ruins it.
You could.
update aat_users set status='banned' where user_id='bassist'
Everything Bassist touches turns to shit
Bump because I hate Bassist.
2nd Place:
Awoo / Albright (3,715 votes)
Who clicks on links albright posts?
Here's a detailed version of my dream last night:
I hate Albright
3rd Place:
Brak (22 votes) - seriously quit liking shitty movies
Best MemberWINNER:
Best Buy Employee / Joe The Landstander (91 Votes)
Joe the Landstander. The Ric Flair of AAT. The Michael Jordan of Cloudtown, USA. That man that revolutionized the biz. Where do you even begin to document the year that the Landstander had? Perhaps the only poster to give 100% into every post, even when he knows he is working in front of five people at some two-bit shithole like the Film Forum. With no signs of slowing down, clearly the favorite for 2010.
2nd Place:
A Sweet Dream / Vinnie (60 votes)
3rd Place:
Baby Burgers Jr. / Steve (22 votes)
In Memorium, to the members that we have lost throughout the yearA Duckless PondAnal CarrotsPAQ, for the second straight year
The DrizzleWhat Happened to Harlock?
